For about two weeks Brody has been waking up at 5:30 or 6:00 every morning. His normal time to wake up was always 7:30 for quite a long time. During these weeks I had gotten into the habit of going in there with a bottle, changing his diaper, rocking him for a little until he was done drinking his milk, and then putting him back into his crib to snag an extra hour or so of sleep before he woke up for the day. Getting up and rocking him didn't necessarily bother me, however I recently became stressed about it when thinking that he might be waking up at this time out of habit because I chosen to feed him every time he does this. I have read online that babies, and adults for that matter, will naturally wake up in time for breakfast if they eat at the same time every morning. Therefore, this morning I decided I was going to break this cycle. I can't have him waking up earlier than he should every single morning, right?
So he woke at 5:30am this morning, and I let him whine a little to see if he would go back to sleep like he does in the middle of the night wakings. He didn't seem to be going back to sleep, so I went in there, changed his wet diaper, tried to rock him a little- but he just got more and more upset that I didn't have him bottle of milk for him. He kept reaching out his arms, trying to grab his bottle, but when it was no where to be found, he just got more upset.
I set him back in his crib and closed the door. I hoped he would realize that it wasn't time to wake up yet and just go back to sleep, but he didn't. After ten minutes, I just couldn't do it anymore. I caved, got his bottle for him, rocked him for ten minutes, and set him back into his crib. He turned over, like usual, and went straight back to sleep.
This morning made me realize something.
I need to remember that these times of change, when raising our children, go in phases. The harder, or unperfect, times never last forever, and before we know it they have stopped and we are onto the next trial. I always think I have learned this lesson, and then I get caught up in worrying that a certain behavior is going to last forever- it won't though- I just need to remember that.
Another thing that I have learned is that with being a momma comes learning to live life while thinking of others, and not just myself. While I am here worrying about getting more sleep in the morning, my baby in the other room needs me. Maybe he just wants to be held a little, maybe he's hungry (from what I've read, this isn't the case), maybe the sun is waking him up, or maybe his new molars that are growing are bothering him in the mornings... whatever it is, I can definitely take ten minutes to sit back in the rocking chair, feed him a bottle, and put him back to sleep contently.
I came across this quote a little while ago and saved it in my phone. It says:
"You will never remember the nights that you had a full night of sleep."
Luckily, Brody has been a pretty good sleeper once I figured out the sleep training, but there are always bumps along the road, especially when I feel like I have things perfect. I know that I will experience the same type of thing when I'm potty training him, or sending him off to school, or any of the other million transitions mothers go through with their kids.
When the new baby comes, I don't know what will change. I don't know how much cuddling time I will have with my little bee. All I know is that I have fifteen more weeks of being a momma-to-one, and I want to cuddle, and rock, and comfort my little guy as much as possible before our big change comes.
Maybe him waking in the morning is actually a gift- a gift of a little bit of extra, sweet time that I get to hold my growing little Brody in my arms. Before too long he won't want to be held by his momma as much as he does right now. So what am I worrying about? Things are exactly how they should be... and before I know it, this phase will be over, and maybe I'll look back and miss it after all.
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