Parenting Advertisement

Want to get thrown up on?

Want to get slapped in the face?

Want to listen to screaming until your head is about explode?

Want to get a few (hundred) nights of no sleep?

Want to then have to function the next day off of no sleep?

Want to try to control something uncontrollable?

Want to talk to someone who won't listen to you?

Want to clean up food from hair, bodies, and floors, over and over again, multiple times a day?

Want to wipe some poop off some butts?

Want to wipe some poop off some butts that are squirming away, rolling away, kicking away, screaming away while managing to get said poop all over you, the floor, the changing table, the walls, and more?

Want clean up some puke?

Want to clean up puke from bedding, the floor, your clothes, other smaller clothes, your hair, and give a bath to a screaming, kicking, someone?

Want to do it all again a half hour later?

Want to convince someone unconvinceable that they need sleep?

Want to rock, and rock, and rock an overly exhausted child to sleep because you don't know what else to do?

Want to try and put them down in their bed without waking them?

Want to feel an awesome cringing feeling when the moment you stand to set them down they start to stir?

Want to hear the screams start again when you finally set then down?

Want to hear those same screams behind closed doors for what seems like forever? 

Want to feel a great sense of loss at what to do when you finally give into those same screams?

Want to feel like your life is coming to it's slow painful death and that you'll never sleep again?

Want to feel like you need to be stern to not start any bad habits, and feel like you are the most unloving living thing at the exact same time?

Want to feel frustrated?

Want to try bribing and fail?

Want to try persuasion and fail?

Want to try giving time outs and fail?

Want to cuddling and fail?

Want to try literally climbing inside the crib with them to try and sleep together and fail?

Want to feel like poking out your eye balls is a better option than what is going on at the current moment?

Want to watch the night hours pass by so quickly and know morning is coming all too soon?

Become a parent! You get all of this and more! Better yet, become a parent of a toddler. Think infants are hard? Puhhhleeeseeee. 

*Written with the background noise of a screaming tired child, with heavy eyes, and with love at 4:00AM on just "one of those nights". 

#dislifedoe