figuring out discipline

Back in the day when Brody was so innocent and things were a bit easier.

Up until lately I've always considered sleep training the hardest thing I've had to deal with as a parent. However, ever since Brody hit his 20 month mark, we have had to learn how to discipline him. And man, I have to tell you, it is really really hard.

Honestly, it just sucks that parents have to punish their children. I never have thought about this fact until I was in a position to have to punish my own kids. I also didn't know that this phase wouldcome so soon.

Before I had kids, or even when Brody was younger, or actually I still catch myself now saying "My kids will never...." phrases. Lately, whenever a sentence (or thought) like this comes out of my mouth I have started to pause and think... actually you never know- my kids might do that exact thing.

Some of these phrases have been:
"My kids will never hit other kids on the playground."
"My kids will never scream bloody murder in the grocery store."
"My kids will never eat candy unless it is a special occasion."
"My kids will never watch more than one show a day on TV."
"My kids will never have to to be entertained by a screen in order to sit quietly and wait somewhere."

Seriously people, the list could go on and on and on. I am the worst, or have been the worst, at watching other parenting styles and telling myself that those situations I'm watching will never happen to me and my kids. And then they do... each and every one of them.

Dear Karli, you are no different than those parents you watched and judged in the grocery store, the playground, and everywhere else that kids are being... well, kids.

What a frustrating thing this has been for me lately. While Brody is screaming, at the top of his little lungs, up and down every aisle of Costco and people are watching as I cover his mouth with my hand in order to try to annoy him to the point of obedience... I'm just punching myself in my mind that I ever thought that my kid would act any differently than those other horribly behaved children.

We have been trying the timeout techinique lately with Brody while using "I can" language. For example, if he hits me, I will say, "Brody, you can either play here nicely with nice hands, or you can go into your room for timeout." Sometimes it works, but most of the time he just hits me again immediately after I tell him his options and into his room I take him while he screams, arches his back, and hits me a few more times. I set him in his room and he stands there, watching me with sad little eyes. As I close the door I see his face get sadder and he starts to cry (and yell and scream) as I shut him in his room all alone.

This same scenario happens if he won't stop screaming, throws food on the ground, or doesn't obey something I tell him to do or stop doing. Is it working? Gosh, I freaking don't know. And that part sucks the most. Putting Brody in time out feels like it just makes him more mad and more sensitive for the rest of the day. Sometimes he gets so upset he just won't stop screaming and carrying on.

This is especially hard for me when before a timeout he is his happy little self. For example, I was taking down the Christmas tree and I was bent over on my hands and knees under the tree trying to loosen the trunk from the stand. My shirt came up a bit on my back and my skin was showing. Brody saw this and immediately came over and started slapping my back thinking it was just the funniest thing ever. His laughter was so cute and it was honestly so funny, but I had to stop and think- wait, this shouldn't be okay. This is hitting. So I told him his options and of course, away he went to timeout when he continued to slap my back.

These are the times where it is so hard to consistently punish my little guy. Here he is having fun and laughing, and I turn around and throw hi in timeout, make him cry, and make him sad for quite some time afterward.

I know that discipline is something that is very necessary to raise a good, well mannered child, but it is so hard to know if what you are doing is working, or just making your life that much harder.