Family came to town this past weekend and while this is always so much fun to see relatives, and especially for me to watch them interact with Brody, it does make me a little more stressed and a little less relaxed. I am a person who likes to attempt to make things go perfectly, and when they don't, which they never do, I sometimes lose it. This was one of those times.
After a busy day full of fun, nonstop activities (including shopping for a new car-what a stress in itself), Jeff and his family dropped Brody and I off at home since it was late and way past Brody's very scheduled bedtime. When Brody's off schedule, this momma doesn't cope well. I like Brody's schedule, or should I say live for Brody's schedule. So as flexible as I try to be when we have visitors or some other event that forces us out of the schedule, I inevitably get stressed out. On top of it, we had been out all day, so Brody hadn't eaten as much as he normally does. (I have learned from this experience to always pack a special lunch/dinner of food and snacks just for Brody, for the times the adult food isn't the easiest to feed to a toddler.) This also added to my stress and worry. So after a rushed dinner, and a quick bath, I finally started to rock him to sleep with a bottle. I closed my eyes and tried to wish my pounding headache away in Brody's peaceful, dark room.He was hungry, more hungry than I think both him and I thought. He drank 10 ounces in a flash. While I was rocking him while singing our favorite Primary songs, the dreaded happened. Brody started to gag, and cough, and whimper, and oh no, yes, barf. He barfed all of the food and all of the full bottle he had just consumed all over me, all over himself, all over his hair, all over the boppy, all over the material covered rocking chair, all over the floor, then all over the changing table, then all over the bathtub, then all over the side, both sides, of the bathtub... Me, being exhausted from the full day with relatives, rinsed and bathed crying (and screaming) Brody, once again, trying to hold back my frustrations, knowing that I needed to put this baby to bed and then be ready to enjoy the company that we had afterwards. I was so tired. I had to strip myself of my vomit clothes as well, and now I had the stress of how I was going to get another set of clothes for myself without revealing everything to my in-laws that were visiting, who may or may not have gotten home yet. I was praying everyone would just take their time returning. This was definitely not the got-it-all-together-Karli I liked to pretend to be at all times. (Also being pregnant, I'm sure, didn't help this situation.)
Anyway, I finally got Brody cleaned up, and wrapped in a towel. He smelled heavenly, especially compared to the rancid stench that everything else in the world reeked of. I just need to sit, so I sat, with my baby wrapped up in my arms, with only his tiny face peering out beneath the soft white towel. I just held him, and I started to cry. Let's be honest... I uncontrollably bawled my eyes out. I looked down at Brody, my sweet baby. The roles of crying usually were reversed. He just starred up at me and I took in all of his innocence. He just looked at his very sad momma and laid very very still. As tears ran down my face, I remember just closing my eyes and smelling his sweet lavender scented baby wash. I then felt a tiny, soft hand reach up and touch a tear on my face. This made me cry even more, however instead of tears of exhaustion and frustration, it turned into tears of overwhelming love. That, at that moment, was all I needed. (I'm tearing up now thinking about this sweet moment.)
My little guyee guy. I know that he was sent down to me for a reason. We know each other so well and not only do I take care of him, but he somehow takes care of me as well.
Lately he has been giving out some major cuddles. He will be playing with his toys, and spontaneously turn around to look at me, crawl over, and give me a hug. I fall in love with him just a little bit more everytime this happens. How could something so young be so wise and alert to his small world around him? I love this little man, and gosh, I love being a momma.
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