Momma of Two

Boy, was it hard to get three little ones to sit in one spot and smile/look at the camera at the same time! My Brody was definitely the most difficult. By the end of our session I was literally sweating from jumping, dancing, and making silly noises behind the photographer, trying to get the kids attention, and chasing speedy crawling little Brody all around the room while he refused to stay with his cousins. But jeez, aren't these pictures cute anyways? A little sweat never hurt anyone. :)

This past weekend we were lucky enough to have Jeff's family come into town. One of my favorite parts of the trip was getting to see Brody interact with his sweet cousins. Brody adored them and loved to watch what they were doing the whole time that they were here. He just loves being around other children.

Taking three kids with us on all of our many activities was a ton of work compared to our normal one kid trips. It made me think about what life is going to look like for Jeff and me in just a few months. Two kids! That is going to definitely be different. As I watched my sister-in-law chase after her two girls, be pulled in separate directions, worry about each child for different reasons, it made me wonder if I am going to be able to handle this huge commitment.

Now, I am already pregnant, there is no turning back now. I know that. I'm in for it, and I am going to make this momma-of-two thing work, even if it drives me insane... however this doesn't mean that I don't worry. Boy, do I worry.

I worry that I won't have enough time for each of my kids.
I worry that I am not going to be able to build the strong momma-baby relationship with my second that I have with Brody.
I worry about what I am going to occupy Brody with while I'm feeding the new baby.
I worry that the new baby is going to throw off Brody's world as he knows it, and that it will make Brody sad.
I worry that I'm just going to be a stressed out mess trying to figure out how to coordinate not only only baby's schedule, but two.
I worry that the new baby and I won't have as many special moments like Brody and I do.

For example, how Brody points his one little pointer finger
on his left hand up to me and expects me to kiss the tip of it.
Or when we say "What's on your head?"
and Brody places whatever is closest to him on the top of his head.
Will I have time for silly games like this?

I worry that our house won't be as happy anymore. That it will be too busy.
I worry that I won't be able to soak in the monumental moments that Brody has, or the new baby has, because I'll be too busy paying attention to the other one.
Will I mix up their names and make them feel like I love them less?
I worry that I won't think my next kid is as adorable as Brody is. Do I have more love inside of me to amount to the love that I already have for Brody?
Will I forget one at the park because I'm used to just pushing one around in the stroller?

I worry about all of these things and much, much more. I know, I know, you are saying in your head that I am worrying too much. That when the new baby comes that he/she will just fit into our family like they were always there to begin with. You are saying that Brody will learn to love his new sibling and I will not have a problem loving that new baby as well. But what if you are wrong? What if getting pregnant was just a terrible mistake and Jeff and I should have waited a few years??

While these things spiral through my head, especially when I see other families with more than one kid, I am also so excited for this new adventure.
I can't wait to hold that new, innocent little baby in my arms for the first time.
I can't wait to see Jeff's proud daddy face when he sees his son or daughter in the hospital on that special day.
I can't wait to quietly watch Brody alone with the baby.
I can't wait to teach Brody how to be gentle and loving with this new little person.
I can't wait to set up a room full of both baby and toddler toys.
I can't wait to walk my two precious children in a double stroller.
I can't wait to squeeze in the backseat between the two car seats on a not so peaceful car trip.
I can't wait to let Brody help me with the new baby and watch him fall in love with this other piece of him.
I can't wait to have Brody and the babe become good friends since they will be so close in age.

This lifestyle change will definitely cause some learning experiences on this momma's end. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. But I WILL do it. I have to. Two little, young, innocent souls are counting on me, and I definitely don't want to let those sweet children down.